VERSE 1

I've lived in my current abode
For what seems like fifty-odd years.
I can't stand my shutters,
The down-pipe and gutters;
My stench-pipe has brought me to tears.
My barge-boards have rotted away,
My gables are causing unease;
My leaky roof's proving
I ought to be moving
To lodgings constructed of cheese.

CHORUS

Cheese house, oh cheese house.
A cottage cheese cottage for me.
Cheese house, oh cheese house for me.

VERSE 2

I'll speak to a builder I know
And settle a price that seems fair
A structure of Stilton
Designed to be built on
Yet simple and cheap to repair.
I'll specify Wensleydale walls
With ceilings of ripe Camembert
And pure Jarlesberg timbers
Round Baby Belle windows
And carpets of tinted Gruyere.

CHORUS

Cheese house, oh cheese house.
A cottage cheese cottage for me.
Cheese house, oh cheese house for me.

VERSE 3

I'd stroll up my Ementale steps
Throw open my Garlic Roule door.
I'd never be prouder
With a hall-mat of Gouda
On top of a parmesan floor.
At night in my Red Leicester lounge
I'd rise from my Edam settee
And go to my lavat'ry
Made out of Dairy Lee
Then up to my bedroom of Brie.

CHORUS

Cheese house, oh cheese house.
A cottage cheese cottage for me.
Cheese house, oh cheese house for me.